Humble people believing in the love of family,
The land that calls me back, my Perú.
My heart is calm and singing happily,
The Incan home, our Perú.
The llama, the guanaco the animals that
My people honored, this sacred land, Perú.
The feeling my soul has passed this way
In a dream, in the past, my Perú.
My heroic fathers who fought like Tupac Amaru,
Pablo fights for his freedom too, We are this Perú.
-Pablo Hernandez
Her hard face told me to stop.
Calling in my head to her,
The sweat falls, drop by drop,
Her voice is harsher.
Calling in my head to her,“
Please see me in here,”
Her voice is harsher.
I will not fear.
Please see me in here.
Search, search to find me.
I will not fear.
I know that I can see.
Search, search to find me
in here . Have the eyes to see me.
I know that I can see
My future fading quickly.
– Pablo Hernandez
by Pablo Hernandez
Know some things can feel impossible
Today my goals are far. Can only
Keep moving. Feel the learning flow.
Because I am emotional,
I fail so many times.
Know some things can feel impossible.
Not sure I can face tomorrow,
My feelings overwhelm. I must
Keep moving. Feel the learning flow.
Learn to live, call me responsible,
Learn to grow into a man.
Know some things can feel impossible.
There is much that I don’t know,
Fail and try and try and fail. I will
Keep moving. Feel the growing flow.
Thoughts invade and I must throw
The worst thoughts away. Yes, I know,
Know some things can feel impossible.
Keep moving. Feel the understanding flow.
Save your tapes for
Happy tomorrow.
In the movies there
Is no sorrow.
They’re each eating,
They’re all wearing
Old covers, breaking.
Love having, not borrowed.
Check out Pablo’s post on his book club blog here: https://speakingisoverrated.blogspot.com/2022/12/making-my-life-my-own.html?m=1
Pablo is the blogger this week for his book club blog! Check it out (and all of the other wonderful non-speaking bloggers) at www.speakingisoverrated.blogspot/com!
(Now and my vision for adult life)
Many people have thought that they knew me, but see me in light of my mute mouth and wrongly understood that I think and feel nothing. People are too blind to see the person that I am behind my happy smile. I feel that I am loving and kind and also know that I am empathetic and thoughtful, with feelings that can overwhelm my mind and then they cause me to act like an utter fool.
Adult life for me will be understanding that while I am wanting a full independent life, this may be hard. Can I live alone? Life tells me that huge challenges can work out. I hope that I can lead people to want autistic ideas. We have thoughts that neurotypicals might miss. We think more clearly sometimes. Understand that maybe the world is missing autistic feelings and they are trying to put us behind the cloud of autism. They are not seeing our light.
(Ahora y mi visión para mi vida adulta)
Mucha gente ha creído que me conoce pero al verme a la luz de mi boca muda ha entendido equivocadamente que no pienso ni siento nada. La gente está demasiada ciega para poder ver a la persona que soy detrás de mi sonrisa feliz. Siento que soy una persona amorosa y bondadosa y tambien sė que soy empático y considerado y tengo sentimientos que pueden abrumar mi mente y que pueden causarme actuar como un completo idiota.
La vida de adulto para mí será poder entender que aunque quiero una vida completamente independiente, esto puede ser difícil. ¿Puedo vivir solo? La vida me dice que los grandes desafíos se pueden resolver. Espero que pueda guiar a la gente a querer las ideas autistas. Nosotros tenemos ideas que la gente neurotipica puede que no las tenga. A veces pensamos de manera más clara. Entiendan que quizás el mundo está perdiendo los sentimientos de los autistas y que están tratando de ponernos detrás de la nube del autismo. Ellos no ven nuestra luz.
Again, the young boy, a fine little boy, placed the shape in the box. He must have done this a thousand times. Again the teacher, a nice, but sometimes clueless woman, looked at the boy and tried loving him despite her frustration. He seemed to understand, but would not obey.
This boy, part of her believed, is always trying to get me upset. Wanting to stay calm, she controlled her look by breathing deeply.
“Please, try this, for me. Put the white triangle in the box.” Her face changed to a look of calm, but the anger lurked behind the smile.
Wanting to please his teacher, scared that his body would betray him again, the little boy handed the triangle to her. Old thinking dominated his mind. Gathering strength, he wanted to break the box. He broke things sometimes when he was younger. Now, thinking about his frustration caused him to feel that way again.
There, in the lonely classroom, wanting to understand this little boy, the teacher chose to act differently. She chose to put away the shapes.
Dos Puntos de Vista
Nuevamente, un niñito bueno puso el juguete de formas en la caja. Debe haber hecho esto miles de veces. Nuevamente la maestra, una mujer buena, pero a veces sin sentido común, miraba al niño y trataba de quererlo a pesar de su frustración. Él parecía entender, pero no obedecía.
Parte de ella creía que este niño siempre trataba de hacerla enojar. Para estar calmada, controlaba su semblante respirando profundamente.
“Por favor, intenta esto para mi. Pon el triángulo en la caja.” Su cara cambió a una mirada de calma, pero su enojo continuaba detrás de su mirada.
Queriendo complacer a su maestra, aunque con miedo a que su cuerpo lo traicionara nuevamente, el niñito le dio el triángulo a ella. El viejo pensamiento dominaba la mente del niñito. Juntando fuerzas, quiso romper la caja. A veces rompía cosas cuando era más pequeño. Ahora, el pensar en su frustración le causaba sentirse así nuevamente. Ahí, en el salón solitario, queriendo entender a este pequeñito, la maestra decidió actuar de otra manera. Ella decidió guardar todas las formas.
(Note from Pablo’s mom) The LYNX Project takes the words of neurodiverse writers and puts them to music. Pablo was honored to be chosen to participate this year.
If you would like to see the concert, it is available below. The whole concert is amazing, but if you want to skip to Pablo’s songs, they are at 51:00 and his interview is at 1:18:06.
After the concert, there were questions for the writers. Here are the questions that Pablo answered:
• Pablo, do you have advice on how to help others have a happy mind?
Always understand that we can choose happy thoughts. We are thinking beings. We understand that we will want things and there are things we have to accept we can’t have. Happy thoughts do not come from a perfect life. Feelings of happiness are available during feelings of pain. Feel that we all have things that make us happy. Find time to enjoy those things. Always the things that maybe feel happy-autistic are too weird to lots of the world. Won’t stop because they feel happy to me.
• What was it like hearing your words in a song for the first time?
Happy to say that the singers were too wonderful. They felt the feelings that I tried to face in my writing. They acted too loving to walk in my shoes. People think I feel nothing. The truth is that I perceive the feelings that the people around me feel and it is too much.
• Where can we read more of your work?
I have my blog and I’m part of a non-speaking book club that makes a blog (speakingisoverrated.blogspot.com)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
• Pablo, tienes algún consejo en cómo ayudar a los demás a tener una mente alegre?
Entiendan siempre que nosotros mismos podemos elegir pensamientos alegres. Somos seres pensantes. Nosotros entendemos que vamos a querer ciertas cosas y que también hay cosas que tenemos que aceptar no podemos tener.
Los pensamientos felices no provienen de una vida perfecta. Los sentimientos de felicidad están disponibles mediante sentimientos de dolor. Siento que todos nosotros tenemos cosas que nos hacen felices. Encuentren tiempo para disfrutar de estas cosas. Las cosas que nos haces felices a los autístas parecen ser muy raras para gran parte del mundo.
• Yo no me detendré porque aquellas cosas me hacen sentir feliz.
Como se sintió escuchar tus palabras en una canción por primera vez?
Estoy feliz de decir que los cantantes fueron demasiado maravillosos. Ellos sintieron los sentimientos que he tratado de confrontar en mi escritura. Los cantantes se dirigieron con mucho amor para estar en mis zapatos.
La gente cree que yo no siente nada. La verdad es que puedo percibir sentimientos que la gente alrededor mío sienten y es demasiado.
• Donde podemos leer más de tu trabajo?
Tengo mi blog y también soy parte de un club de lectores sin hablar ( non- speaking book club) que tiene su blog ( speakingisoverrated.blogspot.com)
Check out Pablo’s book club’s blog, where his writing is featured this week.
https://speakingisoverrated.blogspot.com/2021/06/goals-by-pablo-hernandez.html?m=1
Not Too Trapped In My Head Anymore 